April 1

Although today was the day to pull pranks on people, it was last night I had my fun...

Last night was a pity party for a friend who had been stood up. Naturally, the night ended at the Down Under Bar - the tackiest, sleeziest bar in Brisbane (a guarantee for fun times. Seriously). I may or may not have had more than one drink (which may or may not mean that I was mildly under the influence) by the time we left the bar. Either way, upon exiting the bar I came across a slurring-drunk young man trying to alert a passed-out-on-the-bench-drunk young man that his phone was ringing and that perhaps he should answer it. The guy who had the ringing phone was out for the count so I volunteered myself to answer his phone...

"Hello, Kristiana speaking..... Who are YOU?!.... His WIFE?!? He has a WIFE?!? I am SO sorry, I didn't know!!... No! You know what?! You are worth more than this guy!.... You are! You need to kick his sorry ass to the curb!!.... Do you have a pre-nup??... Well then leave this looser and take 80% with you!!... You can do so much better! I am so sorry.... No, you have a good night..."

By this time the slurry-drunk was desperately trying to wake the passed-out-on-the-bench-drunk man....

Slurry-drunk: Mate!! Mate!! Wake up!!! Mate!! Your wife's on the phone!!!
Passed-out-on-the-bench-drunk: .....Whaaat?....
Slurry-drunk: Mate!! It's your wife!! Call your wife back!! You're getting a divorse mate!!
Passed-out-on-the-bench-drunk: ....What??...

At which point I handed the passed-out-on-the-bench-drunk back his phone and blew him a kiss. He smiled.

The slurry-drunk was beside himself and was stumped for what to say to me. Eventually he managed "You...... you're trouble..... YOU'RE TROUBLE!!" To which I responded, "Yeah? Well let this be a lesson to you! Don't you ever get so drunk that some trouble-maker like me will come along and mess-up your world!"

People! My loyal online-diary following! Surely you all know me well enough by now to know that I would never have done such a thing to any poor woman or passed-out-on-the-bench-drunk young man! So, I will let you know that there was no one on the other end of the line when I answered the phone. The man had received a txt message that sounded like an incoming call and when I opened his phone, I was the only person particpating in my conversation.

Me? Trouble?? Never!
;)


k