Thanks 'friend'...

My friends know that I like to sleep in, often until the morning has safely become afternoon.

My friends also know that I keep my cell phones on in case they have an emergency, so I can sleepily attempt an uncoordinated rescue.

One ‘friend’ of mine rang me this morning and was all, “Good morning angel”, to which I managed a husky crackle inviting her to continue, “I know this is well before the time you usually get up but I was wondering whether you wanted $200 worth of free underwear?”. I managed a croak. “Great!” ‘friend’ said, “All you have to do is appear on Brisbane Extra tomorrow in your underwear, I’ll pick you up at 8”.

“Huh?? Umm... do you know how big I am..”
“Yeah, we actually wanted someone bigger but I can’t find anyone else. You’ll be great. Now you are not going to pull out on me, are you?”
Croak.
“Promise?”
“For you, anything”.

Now clearly, CLEARLY, I was in a dream. I was not conscious enough to actually be held to my dreamt words... Alas, ‘friend’ has since called me, three times, to make sure I am not going to back out... The last time she called she let me know that I would be wearing ‘control underwear’ to which I exclaimed, “You want me to wear granny undies?!?”. She claims she already told me this morning but obviously I was out for the count....

Felicia, you are SO lucky I love you....”

Kristiana